The Great Cake Deception

It was time for the annual cake sale at a Presbyterian church. Mrs. Billings always made 

the most beautiful cakes and she was expected to make another one this year. However, 

Ms. Billings was a very busy woman with the time she spent with her family and the time 

she gave to her community. She put off making the cake this year, thinking she could 

put it all together at the last minute.

When the cake came out of the oven, Mrs. Billings was horrified to see that the cake had 

fallen. She didn’t have the time or the ingredients to make another one and she panicked. 

Frantically, she devised an ingenious plan. She would find a way to "fix" the 

cake...then she would be the first one to the sale and buy her own cake back. 

Mrs. Billings looked around the room, trying to find something that she could use to 

"prop" the cake back up, and then she found it. A roll of toilet paper was the perfect 

size. So, she put it under the center of the cake and the cake looked perfect. She decorated 

it bright yellow and took it to the bake sale. Then she stuck around until the bake sale 

started. 

She was the first in line when the doors opened.   She smiled to herself about how clever 

she was. But then there was a terrifying horror crawling up from within her. She looked 

at every single table there was no yellow cake! Someone had snuck in before the sale and 

purchased it. The helpers couldn’t remember who had purchased it either because there 

was so much going on. 

She went home and felt absolutely horrible. That was it.   They would find the toilet 

paper in the cake, trace it back to her, and ban her from ever cooking ever again. 

Mrs. Billings didn’t have a whole lot of time to dwell on her problem. She was going to a 

reception that the Mayor’s wife was holding, and she was already a little late. 

When she got there, Mrs. Billings almost died right where she stood, because there, at the 

center of a brilliantly decorated table, was her bright, yellow cake. She debated all of her 

options: grab the cake and run, change her name and move to Tahiti, call in a bomb 

threat, or tell the hostess. It was a dead tie between calling in a bomb threat and telling 

the hostess, when she decided to muster up the courage to tell the Mayor’s wife of the 

horrors that awaited her inside the yellow cake. 

As Mrs. Billings got up to tell the hostess about the cake, she overheard someone 

complimenting the mayor’s wife. "That is simply the most beautiful cake I have ever 

seen!" To which the Mayor’s wife replied, "Thank you, I made it myself." Mrs. 

Billings then sat down and enjoyed her fruit salad. 

A Little Joke at Stewardship Time....

Three boys were talking about their dads and what they did for a living. The first boy says, "My dad writes a few things on a piece of paper, calls it a poem and they give him 50 bucks."

The second boy says, "My Dad writes a few things on a piece of paper, calls it a song and they give him a 100 bucks."

The third boy says, "My Dad writes a few things on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon and it takes eight people to collect the money."

All in a Day's Work

There was a man who was in desperate need – all he needed was a little cash and he could get by. So he decided to go from house to house to see if there were any odd jobs he could do. After being turned down by several home owners he came upon a house where an older woman answered the door. He gave his usual pitch and to his surprise the woman said yes should could use some help – it was perfect that he happened to stop by for the painter she hired had just then cancelled on her.

She told the man, "I need my porch painted. Walk around to the back of the house and there you’ll see the porch, the paint and all the equipment needed. When you're done, come back to the front door and I’ll pay you $500."

This was better than he expected. He walked around to the back and to his surprise and delight, everything he needed was there ready to go. He set to work taping and prepping, then fired up the paint sprayer and in no time he was done.

The woman of the house was surprised that the man was so quick, but, she thought, maybe he had a lot of experience as a painter – so she counted him out the cash. The man pocketed the cash, thanked the women and as he was leaving he hesitated and said, “By the way lady, you need to know, it's not a Porsche that you have parked back there, it’s a Mercedes Benz.

A Golf Joke

There were three people in heaven who decided one day to play a round of golf at the heavenly country club. The first man stepped up to the tee, hit his drive, and watched as it headed straight for the water hazard. Just as the ball was about to land in the water, he raised his club, pointed it out over the water, and the waters parted, allowing the ball to land on dry ground. He walked out between the two columns of water, and hit a perfect second shot, right in the middle of the green. One of his partners said, “Wow, good shot, Moses!” The second man walked up to the tee, hit his drive, and watched as it took a nearly identical flight path, straight toward the water. But when the ball hit, it landed and stayed right on top of the water. He walked out across the water and hit a second shot which was also identical, landing at the center of the green. Moses told him, “Hey, that’s a pretty good shot yourself, Jesus!” Then the third man came to the tee box, teed up and hit his drive. The drive took a nasty slice and went straight into the trees, caroming off in the wrong direction, heading for the out-of-bounds marker. Right at that moment, a squirrel who happened to be nearby saw the ball and thought it might be good to eat, so it grabbed the ball and started running towards the fairway. When the squirrel was about halfway across the fairway, suddenly an eagle swooped down out of nowhere and grabbed the squirrel in its claws, flying away with both squirrel and ball. Just as the eagle’s flight took it across the green, it lost its grip on the squirrel and dropped it. The squirrel landed flat on its belly, jarring the ball loose, which then took two bounces and landed squarely in the center of the cup. Moses cast a disgusted glance at Jesus and said, “That’s why I can’t STAND to play golf with your Dad.”