Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Revival - Who's the Winner?

A young Methodist pastor was ready for his first appointment. As is often the case, his DS gave him an enthusiastic pep talk before he moved to the small rural town that boasted one Methodist church, one Presbyterian church and one Baptist church.

"This church has a lot of potential!" his DS said. "But they've been under-performing. They haven't had any new members in three years. I want you to go and help this congregation become the congregation that God is calling them to be!"

The young man moved to the town, got settled in the parsonage, and "got his feet under him" with his new appointment. A few months after his move, he called the pastors of the other two churches and asked them to meet him for lunch.

"I've got a great idea that is going to help all of our churches," he said. "Let's have a revival! We can bring in a dynamic preacher, organize our churches to do mission work in the community, and have lots of delicious meals together. There are a lot of unchurched people in our town - let's show them what our churches have to offer!"

The other pastors agreed; and the revival was held. It was glorious! The preaching was inspired, the mission work made an impression on the community; and the food was, indeed, delicious.

A month after the revival, the young pastor again called a lunch meeting, so the pastors could evaluate the revival.

"I am so excited to meet with you!" he said. "I can't wait to tell you that our church - which hasn't had a new member in three years - welcomed four new families to our congregation after the revival!"

The Presbyterian pastor shared his enthusiasm: "That's great!" he said. And I want to tell you that we had six new families join our church after the revival. God is good!

The two men looked at the Baptist pastor, who said, simply: "Well, I have to confess, we did not have any new families join our church after the revival."

The other two pastors didn't know what to say.

But then a slow smile spread across the face of the Baptist pastor. "But we had ten of the most negative, meanest, most stubborn and least welcoming families leave our church, and our church has never been healthier or happier!"

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Room at the Inn

John Simmons tells about a grade school class that was putting on a Christmas play which included the story of Mary and Joseph coming to the inn. In that class was one little boy who wanted so very much to be Joseph. But when the parts were handed out, his biggest rival was given that part, and he was assigned to be the inn keeper instead. 
He was really bitter about this, so during all the rehearsals he began to plot how to get even with his rival.
Finally, the night of the performance, Mary and Joseph came walking across the stage. They knocked on the door of the inn, and the inn-keeper opened the door and asked them gruffly what they wanted. 
Joseph answered, "We’d like to have a room for the night."
Suddenly the inn-keeper threw the door wide open and said, "Great, come on in and I’ll give you the best room in the house."
Now, that wasn’t in the script and for a few seconds poor little kid didn’t know what to do. 
But finally the young Joseph had an idea. He stepped up to the innkeeper, and looked beyond him through the door that represented the inn. He made a big production of looking right and left. He stepped back out beside his “wife” and said, "No wife of mine is going to stay in dump like this. Come on, Mary, let’s go to the barn." 

Found online at:

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Heaven, Hell...and Getting Our Lunch

One day a man said to God, “God, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.”
God showed the man two doors. Inside the first one, in the middle of the room, was a large round table with a large pot of stew. It smelled delicious and made the man’s mouth water, but the people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.
The man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. God said, “You have seen Hell.”
Behind the second door, the room appeared exactly the same. There was the large round table with the large pot of wonderful stew that made the man’s mouth water. The people had the same long-handled spoons, but they were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.
The man said, “I don’t understand.”

God smiled. It is simple, he said, Love only requires one skill. These people learned early on to share and feed one another. While the greedy only think of themselves… [Author unknown]

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

A Collection of Story Ideas/Metaphors from SermonCraft 2015

Forgiveness: Oshea Israel and Mary Johnson -

Coaching 3 & 4 year-old soccer as a metaphor for life: "herd ball" - might go in the right goal, might go in the wrong goal - might fall flat on our face - might leave with no notice to use the bathroom....mob mentality: the direction you are going isn't a direction....sin...Directives from the Y to coaches: 1) this is the ball; 2) this is the goal; 3) the ball goes in the goal; 4) don't touch it with your hands...a little older: trying to get 4 year olds to learn position: "stand here". Ball goes by because they have been told to "stand here"...It's okay for little kids to be really bad at soccer - they're having fun! But we expect they will mature in their ability to grasp the purpose...Do we have church members who are not willing to mature beyond 4-year-old soccer?

Losing a child in the community worked together to bring her back to me...before Mom could see her, calling out her name....child's face when she found her mother...could tie into personal story of a time you were lost and what you felt...different story of being lost and worried and having a strange adult yell at you: "You need to be with your mother!" Opposite experience to having community come together...another story of a lost child seeking an adult who looked trusting (grandmotherly)..."If you're lost, who do you go to?" (a mom with children, etc.)...Can we equip our church members with "where do you go when you are lost?" easy to shut down when we are lost; can't imagine forward momentum...Joseph & Mary leaving Jesus behind in Jerusalem..."People of Wal-Mart" came to help - this website disses people who shop in Wal-Mart; but these are the people who worked together for good. How do we judge others? "Aren't there churches for people like that?" Film people in the congregation telling their own "lost" stories...Shouldn't churches have a plan for people who are "lost" (been gone for 6 months?)

Only do 52 children's sermons - repeat them every year, so children (adults), over time, internalize these messages.

Doubt: Woman climbs into trunk of car and shuts it to see if light goes out (WHY????). Brings keys in with her....Police have to come to get her out. "It seemed like a good idea at the time..." There was a witness to this!  Mob mentality, we condone this..and then, someone is locked in...perspective of doubt: if we let doubt overwhelm us, it can take us to places we don't want to go....Woman took a home pregnancy test, came out positive, she didn't believe it, took 3 more of different brands, husband comes home, doesn't believe, he pees on the stick to prove that this test can work...Driving back home, habitually, to see if the garage door is down....old SNL skit, family imagining what could go wrong, then drive off a cliff...parents tell you "don't ever touch the cigarette lighter," but you do...when doubt overrides common sense....we know better than Jesus...Do we have to be burned to believe?...another part of the spectrum: people sometimes do "dumb" things because they believe Jesus wants them to (unexamined spirituality)...How do you know about the faith if you don't step into it.

Purpose of the camera...from taking pictures of treasured moments/loved ones...evolution to selfie...focal point has moved to self...Focus as Christians varies: God, Others, works both ways...Emmy Awards - Julia Louis-Dreyfus and producers of Veep, she is trying to take selfie with veteran presenter, he turns phone around as if to say: no, this is the future, take pictures of them...Kid President: We need to live in a world with fewer selfies and more "other people-ies"...perspective: story of family taking a long time to get pictorial directory picture made, parishioners behind them thought they were very rude; but really, they didn't have any idea that people were waiting, they didn't know how many rooms there were, how many salespeople, etc. Had to communicate with angry people to explain the difference in perspective...Wendell Berry poem: Once there was a man who filmed his vacation..."Screen Time" from Ted Radio Hour..Ted Talk by Monica Lewinsky on shame...

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Follower, or Admirer?

Brian Stoffregen shares this story:

There were two brothers in Georgia during the 1950's. One decided that in opposition to the dominant culture of the day, he was going to support and participate in the formation of a multi-ethnic community. The other worked as an attorney for a prominent law firm. Both were Christians and attended church regularly. As the multi-ethnic community formed and social pressure forced them into court proceedings, the one brother asked his attorney brother to help them with the legal work. The brother refused, saying that he could lose his job. The pressure increased to help with a reminder that he was a Christian. The lawyer responded, "I will follow Jesus to his cross, but it is his cross. I have no need to be crucified." To this his brother replied, "Then you are an admirer of Jesus, but not his disciple."

[Original post can be found here.]

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Do I Have to Forgive?

They say lightening never strikes twice.  John Rogers knew better.  Everyone said how amazingly he had coped with redundancy.  It is no easy task to begin again, aged 55, after a lifetime working for the same company.  With a lightness of heart he sank all his redundancy money into his new enterprise.  If his wife thought it foolhardy, she didn’t say so.  Just a few said, “What an idiot to blow it all, he’ll be bankrupt in a year;” though never to his face.

He rented a unit at the new Craft Park; one of those out of town shopping sites with a large car park, a cafĂ©, and a play area for the kids.  The unit was really an elaborate shed, one of about thirty on the sight.  Equipping it with tools, buying in wood, and creating a display and sales area took all his cash, but it didn’t matter.  What was important was that he could now make things.  His speciality: wooden toys.  Sometimes very traditional things—rocking horses, the grain of the wood dictated the racing shape of the animal.  Sometimes new things that seemed strange as wooden toys—alien space creatures that came apart, and docking satellite stations with flashing lights.

The business advice woman at the bank said his margins weren’t large enough.  He was covering his costs and making enough to live on - just, but he’d never be able to expand, and if supplies and sales got too out of kilter he’d have cash flow problems.  He nodded and made some encouraging noises, but in his heart he didn’t care.  He was making things.  He was happy, perhaps the happiest he’d been in his whole life.

The arson attack was so mindless.  A teenager fooling about, oblivious to just how paint, and wood, and varnish, would blaze.  He was a lad newly come to the area, in a foster home to prepare him for life on his own.  John knew nothing of him.  He was pleased that the magistrate thought the matter so serious; pleased that the sullen youth got a custodial sentence.  But that didn’t make up for what he’d lost; somehow all his motivation had gone up in flames.

The insurance company paid out.  The site manager was efficient in the rebuilding of the unit.  Customers urged him on.  But as the smell of the burning lingered about the place, so did the dead weight of John’s wounding.  It was as if the fire had burnt from him all the enjoyment he’d once had.  He was a victim, and he couldn’t shake it off.

And sure enough the business began to fail.  His toys didn’t have the same originality about them anymore.  The first Christmas after the fire John just got-by.  The second Christmas was a disaster.  “It’ll not survive,” they said, “It was obvious from the first that it wasn’t a sensible thing to do with his redundancy money.”

The last thing people expected was that he would take on staff: a young fella called Andy with a beard and a pony tail, a ring in his nose and in one of his ears.  No one knew where John found him.  It was all so unlikely; another indication that John had really lost it.

How surprised the scoffers were when the business started to turn around.  Andy had a talent for working wood, and John was soon able to build on it.  Teaching Andy rekindled his enthusiasm.  For the first time for two years he had ideas for new toys.

And Andy brought something new to the business as well.  Computers were his thing.  Before joining John he’d been on an intensive course and he put his learning to good use.  When their work featured in a Sunday supplement orders started to come thick and fast.  They started selling from their own website.  The woman at the bank was impressed.  “The business has turned a corner,” she said.  When people asked John, “Are you thinking of retiring?”  “Never,” was the reply.

But lightening can strike twice.  The lad who broke into the workshop was after the computer.  Why then did he smash the rest of the place up?  Wrecking the stock, smashing the lathe, throwing customer files everywhere, and pouring varnish over the lot.  The police seemed to know who he was, but there wasn’t enough proof to arrest him.  “We’ll start again.  There’s nothing here that a few weeks’ effort won’t put to rights.”  But John’s optimism found no echo in Andy.  The younger man burned with anger.

John had no idea how Andy knew who the suspect was.  He had no idea either of the revenge he intended.  It wasn’t until the police came to tell him that Andy was charged and in the cells that he knew anything was going on.  Andy had followed the suspect to a local pub, cornered him in the toilets, and beaten him until an arm and a nose were broken.

Minutes after the police left, John put the notice on the door.  It simply said, “Closed Down.”  With a heavy heart he turned off the lights, and locked his workshop for the last time.

A few days later the site manager came to see him.  “Don’t you realise how much money you’re going to lose giving up the lease without notice?  The business has got such prospects, why end it now?  You recovered after the fire, you can recover now.”  And sensing the real cause of John’s hurt, he added, “Surely the court will take into account why Andy did it?  They’ll be lenient on him.  After all it was his first offence.”

“No, not his first,” said John, “he’s already served time for arson.”

Jesus ended his story, “The Lord was angry. So he handed his servant over to the courts until he had paid all his debt.”  And he added, “So will my heavenly Father do with you unless each of you sincerely forgives those who wrong you.”

[Found at:]

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Oppressor and Oppressed

This story comes from a sermon on Jeremiah 29:11 by Nathan Colquhoun (1/11/10):

Here is an example of someone who tried to do what Jeremiah was telling Israel to do.
Mike Pfotenhauer is a man who started a backpack company called Osprey.  You have probably heard of them because they make great backpacks.  If you are serious into hiking, mountain climbing, then you would most likely be using an Osprey backpack.  Eventually they got pretty good that they moved to Colorado and bought an old factory outside a Najavo Native reserve.  They did their best to hire almost all local people for their workforce from the reserve.  They even got profiled in Fortune Magazine for being one of America’s best companies.  They keep growing bigger an bigger.  They were one of the first companies to start integrating recyclable materials into their packs and they kept innovating and coming up with new ideas.
The hard part is that other companies started coming in and offering backpacks for really cheap because they were making stuff cheaper overseas and the competition started getting really tough to actually sell backpacks so they had to start making layoffs and it was hard to keep up.  So eventually they made the decision to shift some of their production overseas to Vietnam.  Now we all know about overseas production and the types of conditions that the workers go through a lot of times just so we can get low prices on all of our stupid stuff we buy.  They have to work very long hours, under harsh conditions and for very little pay.  So Mike and his wife decide that if they are going to do this, they want to do it right.  So they move overseas so that they can be with the people who will be building their product.  They packed up their family, and moved to Vietnam so that they themselves could experience first hand the conditions in which they were asking people to work.
Where the average wage in Vietnam is $40, they pay an average of $80 a month.  Where the average work week is 63 hours, Osprey’s average is 48 hours.  Osprey pays time and half for overtime and double time for holidays.  This is all going on where their top boss is working alongside of them in the same community and living in the same conditions.  Mike was unwilling to exploit people just to increase his bottom line and keep his business in tact.  Mike chose to understand and be with the people he would typically be oppressing.  Not only that, he chose to pick up everything he knew and was comfortable with and built a house and planted gardens in and amongst them.